BRIDGET'S GUIDE TO BOY BANDS

  • BRIDGET'S GUIDE TO BOY BANDS

    LFO!

    The reign of the Lyte Funkie Ones was brief. But once heard, their defining 1999 hit Summer Girls is hard to shake. Everyone's got lyrical excerpts they love use as examples of the song's idiocy: "When you take a sip you buzz like a hornet, Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets"/"New Kids On The Block had a whole lot of hits, Chinese food makes me sick"/ "When I met you I said my name was Rich, you look like a girl from Abercrombie & Fitch"

    There are approxmately a million rappers more talented than the mumble-mouthed members of LFO could ever have hoped to be, but somehow the late Rich Cronin scribbled a bunch of stupid lyrics that stick in my head a lot more than far better lines by far better rappers.

     

  • BRIDGET'S GUIDE TO THE GREAT, NOT-S0-GREAT AND DOWNRIGHT ABOMINABLE AMERICAN PRESIDENTS, NOT-S0-GREAT AND DOWNRIGHT ABOMINABLE AMERICAN PRESIDENTS

    15) JAMES BUCHANAN

    President from 1857-61

    The only President to remain a lifelong bachelor.

    Made a commitment to only serve one term in office.

    Got the nickname `doughface' because of his non-commital attitude to slavery: he was personally anti- but believed it was up to the individual states to make their own decisions.

    His non-stance regarding slavery set the stage for the Civil War with ountry tearing itself apart over the issue.

    Regarded as the worst president in US history. Up to now.

     

  • BRIDGET'S GUIDE TO BOY BANDS

    O-TOWN

    Former blimp salesman turned boy band tycoon, Lou Pearlman, had a briiliant idea. He'd struck platinum twice with Backstreet Boys and N Sync, now it was time to go for the trifecta. But boy band #3 was going to be launched on an unsuspecting early 2000s public in a different, some might say innovative, manner. Rather than just recruit a bunch of singing, dancing ex-theme park employees and drama club showoffs, Pearlman took the bold notion of making a reality show about the assembling, rehearsing and launching of  brand new boy band. 

    The show was called Making The Band. The five recruits were collectively dubbed O-Town. The show was intermittently cheesy, tedious and gripping, especially when it confronted long-held suspicions that Pearlman was not the most honest businessman in the not-even-slightly honest music business. Despite their weekly presence, first on ABC, then MTV, time was not on O-Town's side. They saw a little bit of success but they leapt into the fray just as the boy band bubble was about to burst.

    Diddy took over the Making The Band franchise, turning it into an unmissable chronicle of torment and delusion, but for O-Town the liquid dream dried up.

     

     

  • LIVE FREE, SONG HARD

    The last Bridget Wilder book, Spy To The Rescue, was accompanied by a 60s-style spy theme written by myself and the super-talented Lola G from the band DTCV. Book #3, Bridget Wilder, Live Free, Spy Hard, comes out tomorrow, and has it's own theme song. Titled Trust Someboy,this one's more 80s than 60s, and is once again written by me and Lola G.

    Enjoy!

     

  • BRIDGET'S GUIDE TO THE GREAT, NOT-S0-GREAT AND DOWNRIGHT ABOMINABLE AMERICAN PRESIDENTS

    14) FRANKLIN PIERCE

    President from 1853-57

    Weeks after his election, Pierce his wife and 11 year-old son were traveling from Boston by train. The train came off the rails and crashed down an embankment, killing young Benjamin Pierce. The President and First Lady were severely depressed during their time in the White House.

    Pierce was the youngest man, at that point, to be elected President.

    He was an alcoholic, mocked by the opposing Whig Party as the `Hero of many a well-fought bottle'.

    Another pro-slavery guy, Pierce supported the Kansas-Nebraska Act, giving these states the freedom to determine the fate of slavery in their territories, ushring in unchecked violence, riots and bloodshed.

    He was also the first and only sitting President not to be nominated by his party for a second term

     

  • BRIDGET'S GUIDE TO BOY BANDS

    LISS

    Not sure if Sweden's Liss identify as a boy band, but there's four of them, they're boys, they pose for pictures and express themselves in videos in a way indistinguishable from groups who do identify as boy bands. So lets call them a boy band. And their song, Sorry, is awesome.

     

  • BRIDGET'S GUIDE TO THE GREAT, NOT-S0-GREAT AND DOWNRIGHT ABOMINABLE AMERICAN PRESIDENTS

    13) MILLARD FILLMORE

    President from 1850-53.

    Sworn in after the untimely death of predecessor Zachary Taylor.

    He was the last Whig President.

    Taylor's cabinet all submitted their resignations when Fillmore became President. They expected him to refuse to accept them, as was the custom. He did not follow tradition and accepted their resignations.

    He did not have a Vice-President.

    Fillmore didn't run for a second term, but the lure of politics proved too strong so he took another shot at the White House in 1855 as a candidate for the anti-Catholic, anti-immigrant Know Nothing Party. He lost, only managing to carry Maryland.

    The White House's official website refers to MIllard Fillmore as `uninspiring'

     

  • BRIDGET'S GUIDE TO BOY BANDS

    BTS

    The one-time Bangtan Boys are K-Pop's current reigning champion boy band.  After their early incarnation as a hip-hop outfit, to the extent that one of them went by--and still goes by--the name Rap Monsta, BTS shortened their name and broadened their musical palette. Compare and contrast the production values of these two videos with the hastily-thrown together lyric videos that most American acts are happy to have scattered across You Tube. 

     

     

     

  • BRIDGET'S GUIDE TO THE GREAT, NOT-S0-GREAT AND DOWNRIGHT ABOMINABLE AMERICAN PRESIDENTS

    12) ZACHARY TAYLOR

    President from 1849 to 1850, which means...

    ...we have our second President to die in office in less than a decade!

    A war hero, due to the role he played in the Mexican-American conflict, Zachary Taylor became President more due to the will of the Whig party who saw him as a rallying figurehead, rather than his own desire to lead the country.

    He barely played a part in his own campaign, declining to meet voters or broadcast his own political views.

    He was the last slave-owning President.

    The outgoing President, James K. Polk regarded Taylor as "wholly unqualified for the station" of President.

    Died of an intestinal disease, closely related to cholera.

     

  • BRIDGET'S GUIDE TO BOY BANDS

    BOYZONE/ WESTLIFE

    As Backstreet Boys begat *N Sync, so Dublin boy band balladeers Boyzone begat Westlife. Both groups are excitement-free quintets who croon passionless covers of songs by vastly superior artists. Yet both bands , in their native Ireland and the gullible UK, enjoyed decades of success. Boyzone's most recognizable member, Ronan Keating, even carved out a solo career for himself. Props, obviously, to Ireland for wresting boy band supremacy away from the UK, America and South Korea but these were two groups whose powers of boredom ran as deep and wide as the broad, majestic river Shannon.